Mystic Seaport Spruce Beer
score = 
This spruce beer is from The Museum of America and the Sea.
They should leave it there - safely locked under a glass case.
Bottle appearance:
The bottle almost looks like beer - dark amber glass and a
pleasing masculine label.
Soda appearance:
Almost beer-like head that quickly dies. The color is
cloudy/milky white. Gross.
Smell:
You see, I have a real disadvantage in this. I've tried it
once before. It is taking super-human will and much prayer to even get my
nose near this stuff. We all agree - it smells just like Vick's Vaporub.
Bon Appetite.
First Impression of taste:
The first impression is actually sweet, but it changes
quickly.
Second Impression:
See the photos below. A picture is worth 1,000 words. The
flavor (if that is the right word for self-inflicted torture of this depth)
is pine and menthol.
Flavor:
If you ever wanted to lick a pine tree, here is your chance.
It is pine, spruce and menthol. Why anyone ever wanted to make a soda that
tastes like this will be one of those mysteries that will haunt me for years.
Carbonation:
Very lighly carbonated. The bubbles can't make it through the
thickness of this pop.
Full Description:
This is the worst. It's overwhelmingly tree sap - and not
the nice bits of trees (like birch beer, root beer, sarsaparilla...). You
know how they make hot dogs out of all the parts you can't use anywhere else. This must be soda's
equivalent to a hot dog. If ever offered a bottle, save yourself the trouble
and drink some paint thinner. It will taste the same, but you can wash your
brushes with the remaining thinner you don't drink. Spruce Beer would
probably melt the bristles off. This "soda" is also disturbingly thick -
it coats your tongue white and the nauseating flavor lingers on and on and
on. This is soft-drink purgatory - trust us. Oh yeah - for those of you
who are curious, the ingredients are as follows: water, sugar, "natural
favors and oils, including Canadian Fir (I thought we got along with
Canada!!!), balsam, spruce, sweet birch and wintergreen, and vanilla."
Score:
This is a -2. It would have been -5, but there is a sweet
buffer that does keep you from projectile vomiting. Greg is bravely
drinking the rest of the bottle to see if it will grow on him - James and I
are chowing down Fritos like desperate people (which we are).
On a side note about this soda... Greg came down the stairs
two days after we tested this beauty, sniffed suspiciously, and asked if we
had opened more of that spruce beer. I had just mopped the floor with Pine
Sol. The mop was soaking in the Pine Sol still, and the dirty water looked
EXACTLY like spruce beer too. Hmmmmm....