Black Lemonade
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Our first offering is from Skeleteens/Eat Me Now company of Pasadena, California. That so many of the sodas we review are from this company, and they all have the same "cheerful" themes on the bottle tells you something about this firm. Either they walk around in black leather and chains, or they are a bunch of suited executives with an eye for clever marketing.
Bottle appearance:
DISTURBING! From the black contents to the glowering skull with crossbones, it's not pleasant. Label is amusing, however - it's full of witticism like "animal testing was consentual" and "this may be your only way out".
Soda appearance:
DISTURBING! It is opaque black with a faint bluish tinge (see below).
The tiny pieces of lemon pulp floating in your glass are black. Your tongue is black after drinking this (see below). Your clothing and skin will be temporarily black if you spill this. We aren't sure yet, but your bodily functions might be black the next morning...
We just had to do a stain test on this stuff. Greg dropped some on his arm with an eye dropper and let it dry. It left deep bruise-like purple spots on his arm. It took soap and
elbow-grease to remove it. I dipped a clean white cotton cloth in some and let it dry completely. The resulting stain was a weak bluish-purple, coincidently the same color as Skeelteen's Love Potion 69 in the bottle. I circled the stain with a permanent marker and laundered it with my other whites in the normal way and the stain came completely out with no pre-treating. Drat - we thought we might have something really exciting to talk about here.
Smell:
My first impression on smelling the open bottle was that of fresh lemon juice. Not lemonade, not powdered lemon-flavored beverage, but real lemons. But the next sniff changed to the chemical scent of food coloring. Greg said he couldn't tell what it smelled like (but this comes from a man whose nose's only purpose in life is to keep his glasses from falling off his face).
First Impression of taste:
Really not bad, despite the horrific appearance. First lemony, then faintly salty. Greg and James really liked it - but anything remotely like saline has me heaving due to an unpleasant experience with the military. I reluctantly sipped a few more tastes and left the remainder of the bottle to the "boys".
Second Impression:
Still faintly lemon, but tingly. There is a lingering numbness on my tongue a full hour after drinking. That is hopefully due to some of the more unique herbs in the ingredients. Greg says his throat feels funny and James says his lips still taste sour.
Flavor:
Mostly a nice lemon flavor with strange after-affects.
Carbonation:
Highly carbonated - very foamy when first poured, and very tingly in the mouth.
Full Description:
One just can't get over the color in this soda. It's the gimmic that sells it, and it's foremost in your mind the whole time you are drinking it. We really liked the flavor, and any soda that turns your tongue black is a great gross-out for Granny. It's a nice lemon flavor, but that's it. Sort of like a weak, sweetened lemon juice. All the fancy herbs on the label (Siberian, American and Korean ginseng, African capsicum, Brazilian guarana, ginkgo biloba, kola nut, echinacea, clove, sage, skullcap, and kava kava) don't appear to add anything to the taste, just the aforementioned tingling/numbness.
Score:
We give this a 3+. We wouldn't turn it down if thirsty, but we wouldn't drive across town to buy some more, and probably wouldn't choose it over a cola if offered in the office pop machine.